Words Matter

In my expected normal morning newsfeeds, I happened to read an article title that read, "Lena Dunham Wages War with Gawker". New "It" girl Lena Dunham, creator and star of Girls, is going after Gawker armed...with attorneys...for copyright violations.  It's not the article with which I take issue.  It is the use of the word War in the title.

As we are in the business of communication, making words the focale point of what we do, that got me to thinking...

Yesterday, I was listening to the radio and heard it again.  One of the guests indicated that he felt there was a "War on Christmas" because when he was putting a donation in a Salvation Army bucket on two separate occasions, both bell ringers wished him "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" because, as the commentator described, they didn't want to offend him.  I get it, he wants people who feel inclined to say "Merry Christmas" to be able to do so without feeling guilty for their lack of political correctness.  But last time I looked, there are still mall Santas, stores are festooned in their red and green finery and my neighborhood illuminates every night with glowing snowmen and nativity scenes.  And any time of day, head to the Hallmark Channel or ABC Family and you'll get your fill of Christmas movies.  If you want to have an argument about the over commercialization of Christmas or that's it's losing its Christian meaning, fine, but this is not a war.

This past election season was rife with several shockingly short sighted comments by some male candidates about women and their bodies.  As a woman and a mother of a young daughter, the discussions that at times felt even flippant about rape or the debate over a woman's access to birth control infuriated me.  More than that, it sometimes scared me that there was a group of people wanting us to move backwards in equality, not forwards.  But to codify those destructive, toxic words as a "War on Women" caused concern too.  I don't want anyone telling my husband and I what we may do by way of family planning, that's our business alone.  However, by living in this country, as a woman, I am able to own a business, expect equal partnership from my husband in the raising of our daughter as well as the housework and speak my opinion freely.  I'm not forbidden to drive, vote or show my face.  This is not war.

There are men and women who are at war.  They are living 24 hours in a war zone where they know that at any point while going out on patrol, they could be ambushed and shot dead.  They could be blown to bits by a suicide bomber.  Or drive by an IED and return home to their families, with brain damage or lost limbs, having their lives and their families' lives inextricably changed.  That is war.

For some reason, this very real loss of life is glorified in video games we give our kids for Christmas, but we don't show it on the news giving it proper context and gravitas. We don't talk about how awful and tragic war is. We use it as a headline.

Whether or not you believe it is a necessary means when dealing with a vicious tyrant  killing innocent people, anyway you slice it actual war is terrifying, violent and permanent.  There is no restart button.

We have gotten loose with our language. Gunmen are showing up, military style, to malls, movie theaters, schools and places of business to "play" at war.  The profile of a young man in his late teens or early twenties with an arsenal strapped to his back and a frightening willingness to die has become predictable.  I'm not saying there aren't a lot of things factoring into these predators making the grotesque choice to "hunt" innocent people.

What I am saying is that over time, the mis-use of words, desensitizes us to their severity.  Lena Dunham isn't waging war, she's standing up for herself.  Christmas is not having bombs hurdled at it, we are merely becoming a more diverse nation with varying beliefs that comes with a growing population in a free society.  This country is at war, but not with it's female population.  That war is being fought by a small percentage of our population in a far away country so that we can freely celebrate Christmas, Hanukah, Kwana or nothing however we choose.

As we throw our language out into the digital sphere this holiday, let's consider what we're really saying.  Let's challenge our talking heads to do the same.  Words matter.  Let's decide in the coming year to act like it.